Emotional and practical difficulties Essay

â€Å"Approximately 240,000 children every year find themselves experiencing the emotional and practical difficulties arising from their parents separating or divorcing. † (NACCC 2001). In most cases parents can be responsible, put their own feelings aside and do what is best by their children by mutually agreeing on contact without the use of solicitors and the courts etc. Unfortunately however there are many cases where this does not occur. Usually this happens through lack of trust and communication, which develops because of many different reasons e. g.  one partner having an affair. As a result of this many children lose contact with close attachment figures and many members of their extended family. If children are denied contact with their non-residential parent they may start to feel rejected or abandoned, blame themselves for what has happened, feel increasingly insecure and may even become withdrawn and in some cases depressed. Research by the NACCC has indicated that children who experience this situation may start to take unnecessary risks or even harm themselves through feelings such as ‘I just don’t care anymore’. In many cases children have become rebellious and in some cases to the extent of anti-social behaviour within their communities and in school or wherever they can receive the most attention. Most disturbingly however many researchers state that the denial of contact can lead to a child experiencing difficulties in establishing happy and lasting relationships in adulthood and thus the cycle continues. â€Å"A Child Contact Centre is a meeting place where children of separated families can enjoy contact with one or both parents, and sometimes other family members, in a comfortable and safe environment when there is no viable alternative. † (NACCC 2001). Child Contact Centres can ensure that children involved in parental disputes can not only enjoy contact with a non-residential parent (s) and/or other family members but:There are currently 280 Child Contact Centres throughout England, Wales and Northern Ireland. Here in N. I. there are four Centres. Three of these are in Belfast and Cookstown hosts the fourth. Knock Child Contact Centre on the Kings Road in East Belfast is taken as the example. It is staffed by approximately 40 volunteers who are trained in rigorous child protection, domestic violence and conflict, confidentiality approaches and other relevant areas. The centre is organised and co-ordinated by a senior social worker. It is overseen by a management committee and is now an independent charity. During the year 1 June 2002 to 31 May 2003, 74 families used the Knock Child Contact Centre. This involved 102 children and provided 784 family contact visits or 1043 individual children’s visits. There were also 56 visits where children came but the contact adult did not attend and 80 visits where the contact adult attended but the children were not brought. These situations can be very disappointing and distressing for both children and adults. Seventy per cent of the children attending the Centre in 2002/2003 were in the 0-5 years age range (71 children), 26% were between 6 and 10 years of age (27 children) and 4% were 11 years of age and older (4 children). While the majority of contact adults are fathers, in the past year, the number of mothers coming for contact with their children has risen from 11% to 19% (14 mothers). In 10 families the resident adult was the father, in one the grandparents, one was an aunt and in two families the children were in foster care. The remaining resident adults were mothers. Most of the families using the Knock Child Contact Centre have been involved in the legal system. Sixty-three families (85%) had contact orders when they were referred to the Centre and others obtained orders during the time they were using the Centre. In 22 cases (30%) there were non molestation orders, with allegations of domestic violence in a further 16 families. The Knock Child Contact Centre is open on Saturdays from 10. 00 am till 12 noon. Between 10 and 15 families attend and there are usually 8 volunteers plus the Coordinator present. Throughout the year the Centre continued to open on Wednesdays from 2.30 to 4. 30 pm. From the middle of June 2003, this has been extended to 3. 00 – 7. 00 pm to enable older children to attend after school and also to make midweek contact available to parents who are working. Four volunteers plus the Coordinator are present on Wednesdays. Throughout the first few visits families arrive where adults are apprehensive, often hurt and angry, and children are upset and confused. Over a period of time, in most cases, tensions lessen between parents and trust and confidence begin to build again to the extent that families can move on and make their own arrangements in the community. Ideally, the Child Contact Centre is a stepping stone which provides a neutral, relaxed setting for children to build or rebuild relationships with a parent or other relative with great practical and emotional support. It is not a â€Å"normal† situation or a long-term solution. â€Å"Attachment theory supplies us with an understanding of the abiding need for secure attachments, the profound significance of separation and loss and the lifelong importance of our relationship with others. † (Fox, I. Website 1).